i didn’t know what to bring and only started to think about packing a few items just after learning about the journey. it was all very confusing and so my mind bounced from one idea to the next without committing to any of them. the small suitcase i had flung onto the carpeted floor remained open throughout my dithering with nothing thrown in it. i mean, what do you bring for the next world? and why is it you have to bring anything at all?
in the meantime, i was trying to ascertain the journey details and the means of conveyance. you could say, in short, i was in a precarious and nebulous situation. moreover, i didn’t remain in one place while fretting over all of this. i somehow made it to an airport only to find out that no planes were arriving for me. and yet i also knew a deadline was fast approaching.
my anxiety, of course, was at an all-time high, and to make matters worse, i still didn’t know what this was all about, this journey, this deadline, this ultimate destination. when i finally awoke, with some relief, i realized i didn’t have to worry anymore. there was no need to pack, make decisions, do anything at all. and yet i remained awake long after, sorting through the details and rearranging them like flowers on a tomb.